|Success Attraction suc·cess: (n.) The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted|
|Secret To Getting Anything?|
Filling Your Bucket - How Negativity Can Make Or Break Your Business and Personal Success!
I received an advanced copy of a book called How Full Is Your Bucket, by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton. Gallup Press (a renowned company that provides research and scientifically based educational materials) publishes this little gem of a book filled with nuggets of wisdom and inspiration.
In my early twenties I worked in retail sales for many years and had the misfortune to work under a bitter, negative woman. Over time, daily contact with her had begun to erode my self-confidence and self-esteem. Leaving that job to join a large retain chain, I found myself in a positive environment and rose to the position of office manager in less than six months. Being treated with respect and feeling appreciated for my abilities, restored my self-confidence.
That's why I liked this book. It centers on a theme I have been practicing for years ?focusing on what's right about people instead of what's wrong.
Below is an excerpt from page 15:
The Theory of the Bucket and the Dipper
"Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled, depending upon what others say or do to us.
Each of us has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill each other's bucket by doing and saying things to increase their positive emotions ? we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from other people's buckets ? by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions ? we diminish ourselves.
A full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy. Every drop in the bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic. But an empty bucket poisons our outlook, saps our energy and undermines our will. So we face a choice every moment of every day: we can fill one another's buckets, or we can dip from them. It's an important choice ? one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health, and happiness. "
Pioneering research studies by Psychology expert John Gottman suggests there is a "magic ratio" of 5:1 (5 positive to 1 negative) in terms of our balance of positive to negative interactions. Meaning: While a single negative interaction can have a strong emotional impact, several positive interactions will refill your bucket.
Being emotionally positive does not suggest that every comment and action should be one of only praise and acknowledgement because dealing with mistakes and helping others to learn and grow is important. The authors say that " positivity must be grounded in reality" or the result may be to create false optimism that is counterproductive and off-putting. But most people do not suffer from too much positive support. While we are not responsible for how people interpret our actions and words, how we deliver a message will affect whether it may be filling or diminishing someone's heart.
According to the Gallup poll:
1. The #1 reason people leave their jobs: They don't feel appreciated.
2. Bad bosses can increase the risk of stroke by 33%.
3. The cost of disengagement or extreme negativity: $250-$300 billion per year.
4. A study found that negative employees can scare off every customer they speak with ? for good.
5. 65% of American received no recognition in the workplace last year.
6. Praise is rare in most workplaces.
7. 9 out of 10 people say they are more productive when they are around positive people.
The bottom line ? sustaining negativity is costly to both business and personal success!
Examples of Filling People's Buckets:
Examples of Dipping into Other People's Buckets:
We are responsible for the amount of power we give to people to influence us. And we are affected by negativity especially when it is consistent.
· By recognizing and appreciating people's talents/gifts, strengths and uniqueness, we increase positive emotions in our relationships, both personally and professionally.
· When we say and do things that evoke positive feelings in people, we also feel good about ourselves. People thrive when they feel respected, appreciated and valued.
· Approaching each interaction with the intent to help others feel good is a powerfull way to initiate new relationships and deepen others.
Want to know how you score in filling people's buckets? Visit www.bucketbook.com to take the Positive Impact Test.
What kind of person are you? A bucket filler or dipper?
What would you change about yourself to be a more supportive person?
In what ways do you bring out the best in the people at work? In your personal life?
Exercise: Over the next 30 days, intentionally practice being a bucket filler to people in your world. Watch what happens!
Copyright 2004, Lorraine Cohen
Lorraine Cohen of Powerfull Living (http://www.powerfull-living.biz) is a Business Coach and Life Strategist and Team Member of Solo-E (http://www.Solo-E.com). Integrating her therapy background with coaching, she helps people make more money, manage their time, increase self-assurance, resolve inner conflict, stay focused on the results they want, and balance work and home life.
*********** Find more articles like this at http://www.Solo-E.com ? Keeping Solo Entrepreneurs Juiced in Business and in Life. Our team of Solo Entrepreneurs are comprised of small business experts who support others in finding business success with the flexibility and freedom to have a life, too. Network with other freelancers, self-employed and Solo Entrepreneurs in our forums, enjoy our articles and newsletter, and find other online training opportunities. ***********
You Are What You Believe
The most important quality you can ever develop is having belief in yourself. The belief that you can, without a shadow of a doubt achieve success in every area of your life. Virtually every person has the capacity to do wonderful things with his or her life. But the greatest single obstacle for most people is self-doubt. Many people wish they could accomplish certain things but lack the belief that they can actually do it.
If Only, If Only, If Only
Remove these words from your vocabulary!
Success Formula--Why You Want To Think Like A Fighter Pilot!
Fighter pilots have an awesome responsibility. It takes a unique person to become one. The personality style usually includes large doses of self-confidence, a can-do attitude, high self-esteem and a willingness to face and overcome challenges. Defeat is not an option, for they know it could mean their death.
Keys To Prosperity
Is it possible to get rich quick using the power of your mind? Sometimes, I think the only people getting rich are the authors of bestsellers with titles such as "Simply Abundant, Creating Prosperity and Miracle Power For Infinite Riches". However, we keep buying these books, because most of us have also experienced first-hand the consequences of a law of nature: do a good deed and it comes back to you. Do something mean and it comes right back at you to slap you in the face. Many of our minor wishes seem to come true -- "I'd like to have soup for dinner", or " Please let that cheque arrive in time to cover the rent." So why is it that when we try to mentally will more money into our lives, the kind of abundance that would have us set for life, that our mental powers seem to fail?
4 Steps to Set Your Mind for Success
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." Marianne Williamson
Success Is Everything
(Excerpted From the 2001 Jim Rohn Millennium Weekend Event - Jim Rohn/Zig Ziglar VIP Lunch)
Perseverance - Your Key To Success
If failure is the roadway, then Perseverance is the vehicle to success. Not to forget, Persistent determination of yours is to achieve the goal, your ultimate objective; not to deviate from the main vision of yours by acting presumptuously?. A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin.The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. So, this the man did, day after day.
Work Life Balance: Work Life a Balancing Act
Australians are loosing their laidback, carefree reputation, as we continue to work longer hours, exercise less and neglect our leisure and family time.
The 5-Minute Success Strategy - Transform Your Behavior Easily and Painlessly
Recently, I coached a young woman whom I'll call Mary about how to make critical lifestyle changes. Mary had always struggled with her weight. She had no control over her eating and she could not maintain a consistent exercise program. That's when I suggested that Mary try the 5-Minute Success Strategy to help her overcome her problem behavior. The beauty of this strategy is that you can use it both to eliminate an unwanted behavior and establish a desired one.
Discovery In A Million Dollar Mistake
I have noticed that though my clients often have created a plan, many do not incorporate an understanding of themselves to execute it, and so it is not adequately customized. Unleash your ultimate success by developing a strategy that seamlessly integrates self-knowledge to increase profits and personal fulfillment. Imagine the results of integrating that into your day-to-day life? Can you logically deduce the potential benefits and act accordingly?
Reach Your Goals - Clown Around
Clown around Among the Plains Indians, heyoka, or sacred clowns, often purposely behave in strange or counter-intuitive ways, such as living their lives "backward" (riding facing the rear of the horse, drying off before bathing, etc.). They also tell tales of sadness and woe during good times and spin gleeful tales during times of want. This is done to teach the tribe's members not to take life too seriously, to remind them that all ups and downs are transient, and, on a more metaphysical level, to maintain the appropriate mental and spiritual balance of the tribe as a unit in relationship to the spirit world. Heyoka are held in very high esteem and thought to possess very strong medicine (spiritual/magical power) to keep the tribe healthy and safe through these actions.
Thinkers are Achievers
It has been truly said, and history confirms, that the growth of the United States is due more to independent creative thinkers than to scholars and statesmen. We seldom consciously think about it, but we all share that unique capacity to THINK and are born with a potential of greatness that exceeds our wildest imagination.
Top Ten Ways To Create Positive Behavior Change
1. Open your mind to new ideas: Positive behavior change has to start with your thoughts. Get excited about learning new methods, developing new skills and doing things differently. Anything else is "text-book insanity" ? that's when you do the same things the same way and expect different results.
Unlock Your Potential Through Self-Awareness
Signs of Discontent
Are You Looking For Success With A KISS?
I am sure that you're familiar with the old formula for success that has been around for years. It's KISS.
The Bubble Of Prosperity
My life is a bubble; but how much solid cash it costs to keep that bubble floating.~Logan Pearsall Smith
Quick Steps To Make This Your Best Year Yet
Looking for a way to make this year your best ever?
Success ...Whats the Key Ingredient?
Don't expect results over night - what??
Life Versus Lifestyle
There is a difference but what constitutes a life and what constitutes a lifestyle is pretty ambiguous. One thing that seems pretty clear to me is the lifestyle is observable while a life can have many internal aspects to it. A lifestyle can include people, material things, environments, how we spend our time, energy, and money. A life includes things like our beliefs, our values, our commitments, our soul's dream, and our vision. If you choose a lifestyle first you could wind up with an empty fortress. If you choose the life first, you will design your lifestyle to support the life. Since most of us already have a lifestyle, and a default life, we usually have to do some redesign work. Choose a life and then redesign our lifestyle. It is possible that the lifestyle you currently have will never support the life you truly want to live. It is possible the lifestyle you currently have has many supporting structures and only minor renovations need to occur. It is possible that you are a highly intuitive person and your lifestyle is in perfect alignment. I know very few people who fall into that category. My dad does but what I notice about him, is he and my mother made a conscious decision to structure their lives around their spiritual values. They made that decision early in their marriage and lived true to it. Now it's interesting that my parents are actually old enough to be my grandparents, (my mother is no long living) and I noticed that many earlier generations were not given to having transformational conversations so learning was a very different process then than it is now. The fact that we have e-courses and teleclasses and magazines and tons of books that are created to help people learn to live more meaningful and personally fulfilling lives represents a shift from how things use to be. As we evolve we begin to look at various aspects of our lives for congruence to our values and commitments. The disparity shows up with exclamation marks behind them and sometimes our response is discouragement and self-disappointment. We act as if we should have known better when the truth is how could we have known better? So the first thing to get over is "I didn't know" and then after we get over that we come to "but I know now?now what?" It takes a courageous person to see this and then set their intentions on bringing integrity into their life so that their lifestyle gives them a life that serves their higher self. You will notice some people trying to work around it, pretending it doesn't matter that their lifestyles don't measure up to their core values. The real problem is once you see the inconsistency, not doing anything actually makes things worse and you lose ground really fast. It cost you big time to keep that inconsistency in place. You can't be with yourself and be at peace in your life. It wears you down like water will wear down a mountain over time. Your life will devolve instead of evolve. If that is not a price that's too high to pay, I don't know what is. Just think about it and choose wisely the path you will follow.
Identity Theft - Defining Who We Are
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