Success Attraction suc·cess: (n.) The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted |
|
|
Secret To Getting Anything? | |
What Am I Going To Do With The Rest Of My Life?
"What on earth am I going to do with the rest of my life?" While I can't pretend to answer to this question for anyone other than myself, I can offer those in this position some basic tips on how to ensure that their future turns out as bright as their class valedictorian said it would be.
Too often, when faced with a major (or even not so major) life decision, we tend to either take the first decent choice that presents itself or we allow circumstances to choose for us by default - putting off the decision until the inexorable current of life sweeps us past the turning point. As you can imagine, this is not the best way to get what you want out of life. But the options we are faced with in life can be so wildly divergent, or so deceptively similar, that it is difficult to know which turning to take. Wouldn't it be great if we had some kind of road map that would help us know which paths to follow and which to pass by? Below are five questions that everybody should ask himself or herself before starting out on any new path. The answers to these questions should then be used to guide decisions and to direct actions - when a choice comes up, simply compare the various options with your stated desires and choose the option that takes you closer to (or at least moves you the least farthest away from) your destination - your stated goals and desires.
Be very specific. "I want to be rich," is not an answer - just what does "rich" mean, anyway? Are you thinking of a set number? And if so, why? Or is the term "rich" a substitute for certain freedoms and opportunities that you view as coming only with money - and by limiting them to being accessed only through money, are you missing out on other alternative pathways? Some more specific alternatives to "I want to be rich," depending on the individual, might be: "I want to have enough net income to meet my current financial responsibilities without strain, plus have time and money left over for travel," or "I want to be able to comfortably afford a jet-setting lifestyle in New York City," or "I want to spend 4 days a week at home with my kids," etc. You should try to come up with at least three answers to the question of what success really means to you personally, with each one reflecting a different facet of what you feel makes up a truly successful life. And keep the money issue to just one statement - after all, such things as personal fulfillment, spiritual meaning and other essential needs and values cannot be solved, acquired or even influenced by money One of the biggest obstacles to success is that most of us have never consciously explored what that means to us, aside from some vague and nebulous idea of fame, fortune or other worldly success. Knowing what success really means to you - what you hope or imagine that these generic definitions of success would actually provide and how you want those things to physically look like in your life - allows you to weigh your choices more accurately.
List all the things that you envision as inescapable parameters of a successful and enjoyable life. Family, travel, no debt, pleasant work environment, social status, contributions to society, spiritual involvement, public acclaim, love, excitement, comfort - any or all of these, and any others you can think of are legitimate needs that when not met create an environment of stress, want and disempowerment in your life. Knowing what you are not willing to do without makes the relative values of different options clearer.
List all the things that you absolutely do not want present in your life. If the idea of working in a standard hierarchical office environment makes you ill, put that down. If you can't stand the thought of living in a cold climate, add that to the list. If being poked fun at about your physical condition or other attributes makes life unlivable, note that as well. By knowing what you will not tolerate, many choices become much easier to make. Plus, it allows you to set down rules and policies about who and what you will invite into your life and the standards of behavior you will, and will not, tolerate.
Spend some time searching your soul to come up with a list of your basic values, creating a life around which would make you the person you want to be and allow you to live the life you want to live. Are you the type who values honesty, clean/green living and a deep love of nature above all things? Or are you more of a 'comforts of home', family and fun kind of person? Do you value charity over letting others find their way on their own, or is it the other way around? Knowing what you truly stand for is a vital component of good decision-making.
What legacy do you want to leave here when you pass on? What do you want people to say about your life and you as a person? What do you want to be known for? What would you like your obituary to say about you? Knowing where you want to end up makes choosing the path to get there, and keeping track of your progress, infinitely easier.
There are three key points to keep in mind when you are faced with making life-changing decisions.
In life, as in commercial marketing, "Buy now before this opportunity is gone!" is almost always code-speak for, "Buy now, before you have time to read the fine print." True, from time to time real, honest-to-goodness, amazing, once-in-a-lifetime offers do come around. But if you have laid down a foundation of well-considered choices and clear-minded focus before this happens, you will have the presence of mind and strength of purpose to know when to jump and when to pass, and be much more capable of telling the difference between a missed opportunity and a close call.
The times, they are definitely a'changing, and one of the best things to come out of that change is that we now understand that people change as well and that not only is this normal, it is to be expected. The career or life that suited you perfectly in your 20's will most likely not fit the middle-aged you, no more than the same wardrobe or lifestyle would. Sometimes this is merely the result of the normal process of personal evolution we all go through as we age and mature, and sometimes it comes about suddenly in response to reality-shifting events and life-changing transitions such as living through a traumatic event, losing a job or getting married. However change comes, be prepared to go with the flow. Don't worry about "all that time I spent in grad school," or what your friends and family will say. In the first instance, there is no such thing as "sunk costs" in life - 90% of nearly any education or life experience is 100% transferable to new situations and new outlets. In sports they call it "cross-training," and an athlete doesn't consider his or her training complete without in. In the second instance, well, if they love you they will want you to be happy and if they don't love you, then who cares what they think? Besides, they're not the ones who have to live this life - you are. Also falling under this heading is the admonition not to trade a good life now for some nebulous "better tomorrow," such as spending your life zombie-ing through a career you hate for the promise of a pensioned retirement. All too often, these "tomorrows," if they ever do come, are no better than the "nows" you wasted. And as often as not the stress of living an unhappy life permanently cripples or even kills people, physically or otherwise, well before they can get to their imagined golden "tomorrow."
We are all put here on this earth for any number of reasons - some big, some small and most of which we will never understand or even realize we've participated in until well after they've become distant memory. Spending too much time trying to scry your "true purpose" in the tea leaves of life can take your attention and energy away from creating the kind of life that would actually support the accomplishment these purposes in the first place. A far better is alternative to create what I call a "Groundhog Day-Proof Life." Based on the Bill Murray movie in which his character has to live the same day over and over, this concept involves creating a life that reflects your values, offers you opportunities to challenge yourself and is fulfilling enough and just plain pleasant enough so that if by some strange cosmic fluke you became trapped in any given day of your life, it would be a good thing rather than a tragedy. Living this sort of life virtually ensures that you will be who and wherer you need to be to fulfill any purpose you may have been sent here to accomplish, while at the same time providing you with a wonderful and rewarding "rest of your life" in the process.
Getting the most out of life isn't about living "right". It's about living well. Learning to consciously steer your life in the direction you want to take it, making the choice to live by your own set of values and desires and making sure that you get the most out of the limited days you are given to work with ensures that when the time comes for your life to pass before your eyes in review, the show will definitely be worth the price of the admission.
(c) Soni Pitts ABOUT THE AUTHOR Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them. She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.
|
RELATED ARTICLES
The Failure Misconception Most dictionary entries would define failure as the simple lack of success. While this makes plenty of sense, I'm logging an official protest here and now regarding the common use of the word failure on the internet. How to Use Your Pain to Gain Pain. All of us have felt that emotion some time or the other. And most of us fear that heart-wrenching feeling that pain brings. We all have to deal with it, but some people treat it differently. Marching To A New Beat For our family, the Fall is filled with Friday Night Lights, as our oldest child is a member of her high school marching band. While we certainly enjoy the football team's successes on the field, the process and progress of the marching band really captures our attention. From two-a-day practices in the August heat, to entering the stadium in line to the drummers' beat at each game, to practicing for the always-sold-out Patriotic Game?everything the band director does is designed to build his team into a synchronized unit performing at its highest possible talent level. What Constitutes a Good Life? The ultimate expression of life is not a paycheck. The ultimate expression of life is not a Mercedes. The ultimate expression of life is not a million dollars or a bank account or a home. Here's the ultimate expression of life in my opinion, and that is living the good life. Here's what we must ask constantly, "What for me would be a good life?" And you have to keep going over and over the list. A list including areas such as spirituality, economics, health, relationships and recreation. What would constitute a good life? I've got a short list. Make The Second Half The Best Half Something happens when you come to the intersection called mid-life; you can look back in retrospect and see your life from an entirely different context. For many this mid-life review brings about a sense of urgency that ignites what is formally called "the mid-life crisis". It's where we can trace the effects back to causes that were initiated by our own poor decision, our inattention to important details, our recklessness, our fear, our misplaced priorities, and our ignorance. It can be a pretty bleak experience to really understand, maybe for the first time, that your life really could have been much better if you only knew then what you know now. Ah but there is a subtle sweetness in enduring the emotional upheaval of a mid-life review and that is the fact that you can decide that the second half will be the best half. You can garner the lessons from your past life by taking the knowledge and the wisdom, and leaving the rest behind. You may also experience grief, regret, anger, and blame. Whatever gut-wrenching emotions you feel should be acknowledged and then gently released. You can choose rather you will continue down your current path or if you will choose a new direction for your life. By consciously deciding how you will live the rest of your life, you can create a life that is extraordinary. It's a mighty sweet deal when you think about it but how do you make it happen? Here is a 5-point plan that you can customize and implement in 2 to 5 years that will make the next 40 mean more than you could possibly imagine. Step 1. Create a life vision, not fantasy, that is worth living into that includes personal, professional, and spiritual growth, leveraging your abilities, gifts, and life experiences, contributing to others, having accomplishments that take you beyond lifestyle and status, and building relationships that are life-enhancing. Step 2. Form alliances with those who walk in front of you, beside you, and behind you. There are those who will be teachers and role models in your life, those who will be companions and friends, and those who will be students. Honor each type of relationship for they will all help you advance in life. Step 3. Remove barriers to success by installing new personal qualities, beliefs, habits, skills, and relationships as required. Learn to observe your sticking points, your hot buttons, your negative patterns and work to dismantle them one by one with the understanding that this is a lifetime commitment that requires diligence, patience, and self-care. Step 4. Learn to fan the fires of your own burning desire. Replenish and renew yourself in healthy ways and learn to balance the various aspects of your life so that you are left feeling whole. Step 5. Stay in the game and expect to win. Know that the Universe is on your side and life embraces and supports evolution and you are playing a critical role in your own personal evolution. Why should you expect to spend at least 2 years in this redesign process? Society has programmed us to expect glorified results instantly but upon closer examination, it becomes obvious that the value of a microwave life is commensurate with the investment of time, energy, and resources. The value of life is not just measured by outcomes but also by the process that produces those outcomes. In other words, the joy of living?is living. In 2 to 5 years you will discover aspects of yourself that reveal your true brilliance. You will shed many false perceptions that have restricted and confined you. The rigorous work you will do will be accompanied by a manifold of rewards; expected and unexpected. Of course, it could happen in less time because the time it actually takes is totally dependant on how much you resist change and how willing you are leave the your herded existence behind. You see, a great life is available to the masses but the masses will not forsake their average existence to claim their inheritance. To create an extraordinary life requires that we learn from our mistakes and our victories and continuously reexamine our personal paradigms adjusting them as needed. When you are making the second half the best half, you will find that you will be in a constant state of personal evolution. As you move toward your life's purpose your envisioned life will become the master plan that will guide your life's choices if it has been carefully designed to holistically reflect your individual uniqueness, which is woven into the expression of your values, contributions, and priorities. Reach Your Goals - Delegate Your Life Delegate your life Success: 10 Tips to Make Failure Work for You 1)Failure is normal. Leave a Legacy What do Sam Walton, Ray Kroc, Hilton, Marriot, Firestone, Elvis Presley, The Kennedy's, John Huntsman, and Henry Ford have in common? They have all left a legacy. Think about the Waltons. Even though they slipped a little from last year, they are still going strong on the "Worlds Richest People List" Here is this years list: How Top Performers Use Built-In Technology To Stay On Top Do you ever wonder how some people consistently get what they want out of life and manage to stay on top? They seem to get the best jobs, the best raises, all the recognition -- the best life has to offer. Success In An Ever Changing World? Well, it's that time of the year again. No, I don't mean the time of the year when the flowers bloom and the days get longer. What I am referring to is the sound of roaring engines and the waving of green and checkered flags. That's right, it's racing season! Job and Life Rules to Follow By: Marilyn J. Tellez, M.A.Certified Career Coachemail is: marilyn@doitnowcareers.infoweb is: www.doitnowcareers.info 7.9 Things I Learned About Success From Darth Vader Unless you have been living in a cave, you have probably seen Star Wars 3. I did some 'thinking outside the box' and came up with some ideas about success from watching the movie. Overnight Success - the Truth is Revealed Overnight success seems to be happening to a lot of other people all the time. A new popstar arrives in a blaze of glory and is an instant success. A hotshot businessman or online marketer suddenly appears, telling how they are raking in millions. So how come you aren't an overnight success? Why are you still working so hard at your business, your career or whatever else your personal view of success maybe? Well here's the shocking truth about becoming an overnight success.... It doesn't happen overnight. Take some time out and lookup some of the apparent overnight success stories, and you'll find a common theme running along all of their stories. Almost without exception they were all working hard, exactly the same way you are, for some time before they acheived "overnight success". Read or watch interviews with popstars who have suddenly appeared and you'll find they were playing small gigs, knocking on talent agents doors, entering contests for years before they were discovered. The highflying business owner or "new internet marketing guru" has a string of failures behind him or her preceding that one big breakthrough which launched them to guru status and the big earnings. I am my Fathers Daughter-An Optimists Viewpoint One of the greatest compliments I ever received in my life was from my Step-Mom. Achieve the Success You Want: 7 Reasons Why People Dont Change is one of the biggest concepts facing today's society. We are all confronted by how fast the world is changing and how we must change to keep up. We should view change as exciting! Success Lessons From Tennis That Can Change Your Life Most sports are full of lessons for the discerning. Tennis is no exception. Wimbledon 2005 is over now but hopefully some of the lessons described below will live on for ever. Magical Houseplants Whenever I'm feeling stuck in a rut, I go out and buy myself a new houseplant. I usually do this when I get the sense that I am surrounded by stale energy. Most people can easily pick up on this kind of vibe -- emotionally you might be feeling stuck, bored, frustrated, or discouraged. This stale energy also often manifests itself on the physical plane -- the phone never rings, your loved ones and pets seem irritable, and the bills arrive long before you collect the money to pay them. How To Reverse Engineer Your Success The best and fastest way to learn how to make moneyon the Internet is to buy the marketing books ofsuccessful web marketers. You can find a selection ofmarketing books at these sites: Inoculate Yourself Against Negativity Unfortunately we come into contact with negativity everyday. We can't avoid it. But we do not have to let ourselves be effected by it. So protect yourself from it. Techniques to Help e-Learning e-Learning is doubling yearly. Classes, e-courses, e-books on how-to and what-to appear by the thousands online weekly. In-person seminars and workshops are limited to location and access. e-Learning allows easy access, creation, and international distribution to a whole new world of experiences -- negative and positive. |
home | site map |
© 2005-2008 Attracting Success |