|Success Attraction suc·cess: (n.) The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted|
|Secret To Getting Anything?|
Identify and Remedy Work Addiction
Work addiction is an unrestrained, unfulfillable internal demand for constant engagement in work and a corresponding inability to relax. A person with work addiction, a "workaholic," is incessantly driven, relentlessly active. Work is the one organizing and effective activity. For some work addicts, inactivity or activity other than work gives rise to guilt, anxiety, or emptiness. Some individuals view work as the only area in which they can establish and maintain their identities, feel effective, and enjoy feelings of importance, validation, and affirmation. Others may use work to counteract underlying feelings of inadequacy and ineffectiveness. In either case, the workaholic cannot rest.
Working passionately, long and hard, and deriving satisfaction, does not make someone a work addict. An addiction is something you can't do without. These addicted to alcohol or drugs feel as if they cannot do without them. The person who cannot maintain comfort or a sense of worth without working is similarly addicted. People with work addiction have to work constantly, even on weekends, and during whatever vacations they permit themselves. For these individuals, however, the relentless pursuit of work and the attainment of material gain do not result in pleasure.
Like other addictions, work addiction affects the workaholic's social life and restricts his or her personal freedom and happiness. In fact, excessive work can be a means to withdraw from relationships, to manipulate relationships by limiting one's availability, or to regulate relationships so that not too much is expected.
Individuals who are truly addicted to work do not find great pleasure in the work itself. Work, motivated by a desire to be effective, to experience mastery, and also avoids feeling bad. Like other compulsions work addiction is an attempt to regulate one's feelings and self-esteem.
WORK ADDICTION: SELF-EVALUATION QUESTIONS
Change begins by looking at things in a different way. Consider the following questions in relation to your work and your feelings about your work identity.
? Do you have a specific time when your work life stops and your private life begins each day? Each weekend? For vacations?
? When you leave work, do problems, projects, calls, appointments, and meetings follow you home and erode your private time?
? Do you have withdrawal symptoms when not working, such as restlessness, anxiety, depression, or psychosomatic symptoms?
? Has anyone close to you ever accused you of being a workaholic?
? Have you become creative in rationalizing your excesses, perhaps by convincing yourself that success demands a dedication bordering on obsession? Do you fear failure if you do anything less?
? Can you not seem to stop replaying conversations at work, reassessing decisions, and reexamining work details?
? Is what you do who you are? Is your identity as a person so closely linked to your work identity that it is difficult to enjoy an activity not connected with work?
? Do you take setbacks, feedback, or criticism of work projects personally?
? Are you still trying to prove your worth to yourself, or someone else, by what you do? Do you believe that only unending effort will demonstrate your true value?
? Are you doing what you do for someone else's response, or for your own benefit and satisfaction of your own ideals?
? Is work an escape? Does it allow you to fill a void or get out of doing something you regard as unpleasant, such as meeting family obligations or facing family conflicts?
? Do you have medical problems as a result of overwork, or a physical deterioration from alcohol, cigarettes, skimping on sleep, or overeating?
? Has your social or family function deteriorated as a result of excessive work, including neglect of children or spouse?
SOME REMEDIES FOR WORK ADDICTION
? Establish a clear boundary between your work life and your private life: each day, each weekend, and for designated vacation periods. If you feel guilty or vaguely uncomfortable with taking time off or relaxing, consider reframing the time, even the play, as a necessary component of your work. In order to be maximally effective when you are at work, making time for a private life and for play is crucial.
? Even though you may enjoy and feel rewarded by your work, play is equally important. Creativity, nurturing in itself, needs time to ferment, develop, and expand. You may even find it useful to set aside a brief time at the end of each day to allow closure of work activity, to have an official transition time that puts a period at the end of the sentence of each day so that time off is really time off.
? Establish your own life plan on a daily basis, as well as the big picture on a yearly and career-long basis. Keeping a journal may be useful. Writing down your thoughts, feelings, plans, and timetables regarding work can clarify things and may provide a basis for reflection and comparison from year to year. Know what "good enough" is, so when you reach a goal, you recognize it.
? Distinguish the feedback, criticism, and setbacks on work projects, as relating to the work itself, the task you've performed. Try not to hear them as a personal affront or invalidation.
? Develop your emotional, interpersonal expertise as well as your technical expertise. Both can be finely tuned. Consider, for example, when different listening positions may be most effective. At times a colleague or employer may need your empathic ear; at other times an objective, even confrontational position may be needed.
? Know the difference between thinking, feeling, and imagining, as opposed to acting. Physical action is not the only form of doing something; thinking and contemplating are active forms of doing something. This distinction may seem obvious, but it is not clear in the minds of many people. For example, a patient may come in and want to know what to "do" about her depression. There is no immediate thing to do; we must begin by understanding and resolving the emotional issues that underlie the symptom. The patient's own failed attempts to approach the problem actively, to apply willpower and distracting activity, provide ample evidence that another approach is required.
? Reassess the amount of time you spend talking about your work with family and friends, and the amount of time you spend associating only with friends from work or people in the same line of work. Obviously people who care about each other are interested in all the things that are important to the other, including work. But, being caught up in war stories may represent an inability to establish boundaries for work or an overinclusive identity with one's work.
David Krueger, M.D. is an Executive Strategist/ Professional Coach who mentors executives, entrepreneurs, and authors (http://www.executivestrategist.biz).
He is author of 11 books on success, money, work, and self-development. This article is excerpted from Dr. Krueger's 12th book, soon to be published, LIVE A NEW LIFE STORY: The Essentials of Change, Reinvention, and Personal Success.
Nothing Comes Easy
I am constantly approached by people when I am speaking at an event and asked the same two questions
The Four Key Traits of Highly Successful People
Recently, I was asked to write a Top 10 list about the secrets of success, and I spent time thinking about the most successful people I've known. There have been a thousand books and tape sets written about the "Secrets of Success", so the challenge was to see if I could add something new. I think I have at least found a new way of thinking about successful people.
Celebrate Great Rides
You have been preparing for months. You are in position and you are ready. A swell develops and begins to transform before your very eyes. A monster wave is now bearing down upon you. Your training and instincts kick in as you paddle to meet the motion of your wave. The wave tries to bully you showing it is a fierce competitor. You apply all of your skill and training as you find yourself dropping nearly straight down a mountain of angry water. You maintain your balance and you handle your wave with great skill and superb style. You barely avoid the hazards and have several moments of truth where even in your confidence you are not completely sure you are going to make it. But you do make it. You ride through to where the wave finally breaks taking you elegantly to the shore like royalty arriving on a red carpet.
7 Dynamic Strategies for Creating a Life that Works
Everyone wants a life that works effectively, whether that means harmonious relationships, a happy family life, a successful career, or the achievement of an important mission. People with successful lives take certain actions consistently.
5 Master Qualities of Extraordinary Achievers
You can be a master achiever by developing the same qualities of those who seem to achieve more than others. Here are 5 qualities you need to master in order to become a successful person in your chosen field and in your life.
Professional Success: Avoid Becoming A Dinosaur
Jack Nichlaus was asked if there are really talented golfers who never make it. "Oh, hundreds of them", he replied. "A lot of people out there are more talented than I am and yet, through the years, I've passed them by...That's because they did not have the drive to keep on learning...In other words, they didn't try to get better."
The Ancestral Cream
"I am the greatest warrior. I have fought with gods and beaten them. I have fought with giants and won. I am strong; I cannot lose in a battle. I am the greatest warrior ever," said the confident warrior".
Characteristics of Successful People
Each human being, who exists above the level of simple survival and therefore has the freedom to think and make choices, has the opportunity to choose to live either a life that is 'on purpose' or by accident.
Success Lessons From A Gym Wall And From The Rematch
Recently, I have been riveted by the amazing reality show "The Contender". The show started with 16 boxers who have fought each other every week until last week only 4 boxers were left. These were Alfonso Gomez, Jesse Brinkley, Sergio Mora and Peter Manfredo Jr. The story of the first semi-final fight between Gomez and Manfredo contains several powerful success lessons for everyone.
How a Biscuit Taught Me a Priceless Lesson in Life
There are no two greater ironic comparisons than that of a biscuit and life. For over two decades, I'd feverishly tried to bake biscuits. Being a baking 'connoisseur,' I was quite disheartened that I could easily knead & bake home-made yeast, cinnamon rolls and croissants - but try as I did, I could never grasp the technique of making southern-baked biscuits. Regardless whether I used the quick mix or home-made recipe kind, somehow my biscuits either came out of the oven with the texture of mortar, fell apart like charcoal briquettes or tasted like salty play-doh. In any event, it was my solemn quest to bake these tasty breakfast breads some time before I die.
Still Mourning That Business Failure!
No one wants to fail. But when in business you ought to make decisions. While they are aimed at bringing out success your decisions may also prove to be a failure. Yes! Failure is detrimental to the confidence. That is why everybody dreads it. But we need to face it instead of mourning.
The #1 Secret of Success
Today I am going to tell you the #1 secret to success in life, business & all that you do. If you apply this secret wholeheartedly I guarantee that your life will change for the better.
The #1 Way to Control Your Mind for Success!
People say: "One can't help one's thoughts." But one can. The control of the thinking machine is perfectly possible. And since nothing whatever happens to us outside our own brain; since nothing hurts us or gives us pleasure except within the brain, the supreme importance of being able to control what goes on in that mysterious brain is patent. This idea is one of the oldest platitudes, but it is a platitude whose profound truth and urgency most people live and die without realising. People complain of the lack of power to concentrate, not witting that they may acquire the power, if they choose.
Have You Planned Your New Years Revolutions?
Reach Your Goals - Friendly Competition
Plan to Succeed
Have you ever made plans in your career but never fulfilled them? Or have you fulfilled a plan but found that you have gone in the wrong direction?
Lifetime Success Key: Get a Life...
I was talking about my business to a stranger the other day and he scored a great point. He agreed that I had a great opportunity to offer, and a person could make a great deal of money from it. Then he asked the question that threw me for a loop. "OK, suppose you do get rich from this deal. Now you're a 45 year old retiree. Now what?"
Dont Just Read About It; Be About It!
Far too many of us struggle through life despite more Bibles, personal development, and self-help books being read now, than during any other time in history.
A Century of Hope
What would one initially think about someone who dropped out of school at the age of 16? Would there be any hope for this person? This person is Bob Hope. Comedian Bob Hope starred in over 50 movies and lived past the age of 100 years old.
Discover Your Path to Success - Part 3
If you have read this far, we both know you are serious about succeeding, getting the most out of life, and attaining your goals.
|home | site map|